Do you think society puts too much pressure on people to be in relationships and/or have children? Do you think this ostracizes people who would be perfectly content to remain single and/or child-free? Is this pressure worse around the holidays?
I’ve written about this before, and I think it’s certainly so. But I think society puts the pressure on those that are not single by choice, but by circumstance. In the almost three years that I’ve been single, there have been large stretches of time that I couldn’t care less about the perfect picture presented by society. At the height of my anti-male rhetoric (ahem. Sorry about that, by the way) I was a very content single and thus was able to laugh about all the messages that came in through media and whatnot telling me I should be unhappy because I was alone. But later, when I began to feel I might want to be in a relationship again, those same messages made me lonely.
Case in point: first I was glad not to be with someone around the holidays, as it meant I didn’t have to go to all the in-law family functions and whatever. Later, I’d look at all the cozy people on TV, staring in each other’s eyes by the light of a Christmas tree, and secretly I’d want that too (even though I still laugh at those commercials because, please, they’re just ridiculous). I think I’ve struck a fair balance now: I’d like to be with someone, but I’m perfectly happy by myself. I think it’s a good place to be..
I think the pressure that’s on single people by choice is the pressure to always have to explain yourself and your decisions, and know that people are secretly thinking, “(s)he’s only saying (s)he’s happy alone because (s)he can’t find anyone”. But maybe I’m projecting that last bit, I have been known to do that on occasion 😉