how (not) to spend your weekend

1. Lose the keys to your dad’s place, where you hope to spend the weekend.
2. Find the keys about half an hour after you had wanted to catch the train.
3. Take the train up to Rotterdam and find out only half the market stalls are present. Go food shopping anyway.
4. Take another train and end up in Leiden after a long, good day visiting cooking stores, coffee places, and book stores in Rotterdam.
5. Find out that those keys you found might have been on a key ring your dad gave you, but they’re the keys to your mom’s house.
6. Blame that on the fact that you came from a broken home.
7. Call your sister in Den Haag and ask to stay with her. Find out she’s at her boyfriend’s apartment so you have the run of the place. Take another train.
8. Finally collapse on the couch for a ten PM dinner of rotisserie chicken, flat bread, chocolate, chips, and cherries. Watch CSI.
9. Watch B. start sneezing and coughing and ask if he’s gotten a sudden cold until it hits you that your sister has a cat and both of you are allergic.
10. Sit in B.’s spot for a minute while he’s off scrounging toilet paper to blow his nose once every 2.1 seconds.
11. Start sneezing yourself and realize that comfy spot on the couch is likely where the cat always sits. (Have this confirmed by your sister later.)
12. Go into the bedroom and open all the windows. Sleep fitfully and have breakfast in bed the next day since the rest of the apartment is off-limits.
13. Go into the city the next day and enjoy some window shopping. Buy new water glasses for B. since you dropped and broke most of his. (Accidentally, for the record.)
14. Send B. on his way home while you go to your sister’s birthday party and get to eat all kind of delicious food.
15. Come home with a headache and wake up at 2:30 because your head hurts so much. Get up for some aspirin, then vomit a couple of times, just for good measure.
16. Go back to bed.
17. Wake up on Monday morning feeling very grateful that you don’t have to go to work today.
18. Go back to bed and sleep until 10 o’clock.
19. Spend all of your time wondering if those weren’t your dad’s keys, where the hell are they?
20. Find them in the same place you found your mom’s keys. Resolve not to tell B. how easily all the drama could have been avoided.
21. Go back to bed.


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