how not to date

An example of one of True's online ads.

I’m obviously not using this site. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve been doing the online dating thing for a couple months now, with very limited success. Last week, I finally got matched with a guy I thought might have potential, only to hear nothing back. Oh well. At least it can never get as bad as my first online dating experience.

I’d met a guy on a Christian dating site (this was in my Still Very Traditionally Christian Phase) and we’d decided to meet up in Amsterdam to go to a museum together. We had emailed and texted and he seemed nice, so why not?

My train got into the station earlier than his did, so I remember seeing him coming off that train and immediately realizing he wasn’t my type. But I figured we could still have a nice time, so we walked to the museum and went through the exhibits in a normal enough manner. Right before we left, I went to the restroom, mentally rehearsing the “I think it’s clear we don’t really click. How about calling it a day?” conversation that would follow. But when I got back to the lobby, he was gone. I waited for close to fifteen minutes, scanning the crowds, before I gave up and left. Fifteen minutes later, I got a text, saying he thought it wasn’t going to work out and he had left.

So there I was, in Amsterdam, ditched by my date I hadn’t been into anyway. I called my sister, to commiserate but also and mostly because I needed directions to the nearest coffee place (he had the map) and then on to the bookstore I wanted to visit before I went home. A. was furious on my behalf while I was mostly flabbergasted. Sure, it saved me any awkwardness, but to this day I don’t understand the reasoning that led this guy (who, at 26, should have known better) to think it’s perfectly acceptable to run off while your date is in the restroom. But my pride wasn’t hurt and with A.’s help, I made it to the Bagels and Beans and then to the American Book Center, where I spent an enjoyable hour or two just browsing books by myself.

Oh, and a week later? The guy emailed and asked what I had thought of him. I doubt he liked my response.

5 thoughts on “how not to date

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